CONFLICT MANAGEMENT for PEACEFUL RELATIONSHIPS
SUMMARY: This article will reveal steps to follow to diffuse conflict in all relationships as well this article will provide some resources for you to reduce conflict and get what you want in all relationships.
RESOURCES for CONFLICT MANAGEMENT for PEACEFUL RELATIONSHIPS. At bottom of this page you will be offered a FREE Webinar on how to find your power with Soul Abundance, directed to a book that changed my life and finally a FREE webinar on “What Men Want You to Know But Will Never Tell You.”
VIDEO VERSION OF THIS ARTICLE
A while ago I devised a conflict management system from a sales model I had learned. When I worked for Microsoft Corporation many moons ago, we were taught the SPIN selling model.
Using this as a template for sales, I devised the LOVE Conflict Management Model. Here are the steps.
- Learn why your partner is resisting you. Why is he or she resisting? What is their hidden agenda? What do they really need, want? How do they feel? The more you get them to reveal their issues the better you will be at finding a peaceful solution.
- Open their problem. “So if you go with me to my parent’s house you will NOT be able to watch football with your friends Sunday.”
- Verbalize some suggested solutions. “OK. So you go to football Sunday. I’ll find a better day to go to my parents house to celebrate my father’s birthday with you.” Or, “You can come with me for a little while and leave early.” Or, “Maybe we can go to my parent’s house on Saturday instead.”
- Engage in agreement, finalizing the details.
Basically this is a way of hearing what the other person wants and needs, letting them open up and speak to you so you can understand where they are coming from, what they are thinking and what is their hidden agenda.
Once you know this. Wow! You are golden. You can suggest a solution both of you are happy with.
Quite often when we are in love relationships we do not take the time to learn why our partner wants something or is asking for something or not doing something we want.
Instead we jump to conclusions interpreting their lack of compliance as personal rejection triggering a fight or flight response. Those who are confident do not take things personally. They just problem solve.
Those who are not healed, who have low self esteem, see any conflict as personally threatening, making us feel unsupported and insecure.
Conflict always comes down to our self esteem. The answer is always the same. Develop your self and your relationships will improve.
Support yourself. Love yourself. Hear yourself. Develop your talents and live them successfully.
The better your relationship with yourself, the better your relationships with others will be. You will forever be freed of the fight or flight response and live in a state of self support and security.
Instead of anger being your response to conflict you will be able to express L.O.V.E. Selling Techniques to delve deeply into the needs of your partner, and address them with a loving, mutually supportive solution.
The next time you feel yourself slipping into conflict and ready to fight or flight read my partner article to this one called, “How to Get Rid of Anger,” and use the LOVE Sales System.
- Get a piece of paper and a pen.
- Relax in meditation.
- Think of a relationship you have in which you have conflict. This can be with a boss, a friend or a family member.
- Imagine them in front of you with a classic argument getting ready to begin.
- Now instead of going to a fight or flight mode you
- Learn why your partner is resisting you. Thoroughly hear them out without interrupting, fighting or “flighting.” Learn why is he or she resisting? What is their hidden agenda? What do they really need, want? How do they feel? The more you get them to reveal their issues the better you will be at finding a peaceful solution. Hear them out.
- Open their problem. Restate what their problem is so they know you heard them. Imagine doing this now.
- Verbalize some suggested solutions. Imagine doing this now. Ex. “OK. So you go to football Sunday. I’ll find a better day to go to my parents house to celebrate my father’s birthday with you.” Or, “You can come with me for a little while and leave early.” Or, “Maybe we can go to my parent’s house on Saturday instead.”
- Engage in agreement, finalizing the details. Imagine gaining agreement with this person. Whew!
6. You can do this on your own a few more times for practice. As well, it is important to grow inside. The soul abundance course can help with that.
End of exercise.
I have found most conflicts have arisen in my own life because I was threatened by contradiction to my thinking.
Once I went into a tailspin because my husband poured a half finished glass of wine into a fresh glass of wine newly brought to me in a restaurant.
Why was I so threatened? Why was I so eager to jump down his throat? Because I was not in control is why.
Why did I need to be in control? Because I was not secure inside. I had been very damaged by living a life totally out of touch with myself, stuffing my feelings, working for money in a lifestyle I detested for far too long.
Those of us who have the inner bankruptcy disease will be very easily set off, upset and threatened when things do not go our way.
Think of a war veteran suffering from PTSD. Things will set him or her off suddenly without warning. It is because the trauma they experienced left them deeply insecure. They are damaged inside.
I healed from my own form of PTSD over time. After I lost the love of my life and all of my retirement money, I learned how to face fear and survive, actually flourish.
What I learned is what I call Soul Abundance. It is a way of letting go of our fears, open our heart to really feel and be who we are, then vibrate at our authentic frequency, engaging our destiny. It is a system to heal.
If you are curious about activating our power core, your secure center, I suggest you watch this free video about Soul Abundance and purchase the course.
RESOURCES for CONFLICT MANAGEMENT for PEACEFUL RELATIONSHIPS
- Find your power lose your anger with Soul Abundance. FREE Introductory Video by joining mailing list here.
- This book changed my life and helped me develop the Soul Abundance system of developing self worth. Go HERE to get this life changing book.
- WASH AWAY FIGHTS AND ANGER. Stop stupid arguments in their tracks. Get your FREE Webinar “What men Want You To Know But Will Never Tell You.” Join my mailing list here to get.
Purchase Soul Abundance course at Course 1 on this page HERE.
BOOK PRIVATE SESSION with Spirit Medium Laura at BookLaura.com.