EMOTIONAL BONDING: HEALING ATTACHMENT DISORDER IN ADULTS

EMOTIONAL BONDING:  HEALING ATTACHMENT DISORDER IN ADULTS

The other day I was working with a client.  She had been suffering for over 11 years in an unrequited love relationship.  The man had given himself to her, then pulled away, only to want to be with her again and then pull away.

Ambivalence was at the core of this.

During the session The Guides said through me to her, “This is a bonding disorder.  You (The client) need to heal your ability to bond with another human being and so does your love partner.”

Obviously she had no control over anyone other than herself.  She could not heal her partner.

But as usual The Guides said through me to her, “If you heal yourself everything around you will shift vibration.  Your partner will shift when you do because your behavior will change.”

Always we try to control another person rather than heal our self when we are in dysfunctional relationships.  We all share the illusion that reality is “out there,” not “in here,” because we are hard wired to view the world this way.

But time and again The Guides will tell clients it is you that needs to change, not your partner.

So if you are in a dysfunctional relationship of any sort look at bonding as an aspect of healing yourself.

What is emotional attachment?  I did a Google search on this to learn,

Psychology Today states in the article, “How Your Attachment Style Impacts Your Relationship,” “An attachment pattern is established in early childhood and continues to function as a working model for relationships in adulthood.”

OK, so that means you need to look at your early childhood attachments.  Did you bond with your caregivers?  Were you raised in a secure emotional environment?

Wikipedia states in their Attachment Theory post, “Anxious-ambivalent attachment is when the infant feels separation anxiety when separated from the caregiver and does not feel reassured when the caregiver returns to the infant.”

The client I mention above has this issue herself.  She was separated from both her parents at a young age due to death and abandonment, to be raised by her distracted grandmother.

She did not even have a birthday celebrated until she was 9 years old, so overlooked was she!

HERE IS A GREAT VIDEO ON BONDING FROM A THERAPIST – VERY HELPFUL

Psychology Today continues in the article, “How Your Attachment Style Impacts Your Relationship,” “Our style of attachment affects everything from our partner selection to how well our relationships progress to, sadly, how they end.

That is why recognizing our attachment pattern can help us understand our strengths and vulnerabilities in a relationship.”

Let’s simply start with your attachment style.  I found a great Attachment Style quiz in Psychology Today you can take to determine how you bond.  HERE IT IS.

Now knowing this here is an article which goes into “How to Change Your Attachment Style” from Psychic Central.

Here is the essence of this article I highly recommend.

• “Heal your shame and raise your self-esteem. This enables you not to take things personally.
• Learn to be assertive.
• Learn to identify, honor, and assertively express your emotional needs.
• Risk being authentic and direct. Don’t play games or try to manipulate your partner’s interest.
• Practice acceptance of yourself and others to become less faultfinding — a tall order for codependents and distancers.
• Stop reacting, and learn to resolve conflict and compromise from a ‘we’ perspective.”

Here is an excellent book on the subject which can be used as an extremely powerful way to compliment therapy or even work on your own to heal.

This book got great reviews on Amazon.  When I checked the validity of the reviews on fakespot.com the quality of the reviews came up as an “A.”

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Here is some channeling from The Ones on EMOTIONAL BONDING:  HEALING ATTACHMENT DISORDER IN ADULTS.

Dear Spirit Guides, how can one heal emotional attachment disorder as an adult?

Emotional attachment comes from love.  So the answer is very simple. 

Love yourself more.  Be aware you have the disorder and then set aside time each day to nurture and love yourself more, give yourself what you did not get in childhood.

It is only in this way that you will learn to love yourself more so you can fully love another.

We in the spiritual realm understand these issues well.  They are the root of all distress on earth, the feeling you do not have enough, you did not get enough, nor you are enough.

If you could only see from our realm where the blindness lies you would understand you are more than enough.

You are the STUFF from which all reality is made.

You are gifted, desirable and loving in your essence.

To work through your issues of childhood neglect, codependency and not having enough, you would blossom to your full potential which is the stuff from which reality itself is made.

You are the essence of love my dear friends, the essence of God.  You are so beyond being enough it is not easy to make you aware of this.

You are the actual stuff from which reality comes.

So next time you do not feel enough, when you think that f someone knew the real you they would reject you, then think of this.

You are perfect in your full expression.

You need to listen to your heart and allow it to awaken your potential, do what you love to do, what makes you feel good.

Ask yourself what you want and then take steps to bring it to yourself.

With this you will blossom.

Namaste,

This is the JOY Secret, Amen.

The Ones through Spirit Medium Laura

Book your appointment with Spirit Medium Laura HERE.