I just received a letter from a follower about using remote influence to influence her ex husband, whom she claims is a narcissist. Names and some details are changed to protect identities.
Here is the exchange between us.
Follower Inquiry: “Sorry Laura one last question. I strongly believe that my ex was a narcissist. Do you feel that there is any way in trying to ever influence him in that he would want to talk to me.
I know I am no longer apart of their lives but I do worry that the way my ex treated me and his daughter’s biological mother will have some future impact on his daughter’s life.”
Spirit Medium Laura’s response: “Funny coincidence, but I have been studying the narcissistic psychopathic (‘narcopath’) personality of late. I have come to peace with the relationship I had with one of these types.
You might be able to influence your ex husband to talk to you if he is willing or open to be influenced but even if he is, I still do not think you can affect him to change.
A ‘narcopath’ must want to change. But even if they desire to change I have found their inner mind can be so warped, they don’t understand what being moral, loving or kind is.
My ex became very religious to heal him. He thought there was something wrong with him so he turned to God to heal him. Then he repeated the exact Narcissistic pattern again with me!
My conclusion: The narcissist cannot help him self. His inner landscape is different than a normal person who has empathy.
I realize now my ex probably thinks he is a good, God worshiping, moral person with his new religious focus.
However, his behavior demonstrates he has not changed. He has not developed empathy, morality or concern for any person’s feelings other than his own.
Perhaps when he hurts me he gets a hit of energy which he thinks is love, sort of like a child who craves attention will do anything including behave negatively to get it. Maybe that’s the closest he can get to feeling human.
So what to do?
My response to him has gone from trying to influence him to accepting and blessing him.
I have grown. I like to think about all of it this way. When we encounter such people it is not about influencing them. It is about influencing us.
‘What positive can I get from this experience?’
So a better question to ask about this is, ‘How can I grow from this? What can I do to improve my self esteem, sense of worthiness and complete my purpose on earth so the next ‘Narcopath’ I meet cannot hurt or affect me.’
Now I know that you are probably saying to yourself as I write this, ‘but he hurt me and now will hurt my step daughter. This must be put right!’
You can help your step daughter with Remote Influence Telepathic communication as discussed in another email I wrote you.
That might help your step daughter be immune to her father’s influence. I just don’t think you can change your ex-husband.”
End of communication.
I hope this has been helpful to you as a reader. A narcissist does not have empathy and therefore cannot love as you or I do.
Even if they say they want to change they are not really trying to become a moral person. They are trying to get something they feel they missed or did not yet attain.
It is all about them. Morality is just not their thing.